Daybreak:Alpha Chapter
Chapter 9 - Life Beyond Body
(not finished)
Fire.
It was everywhere, scattered across the snowy landscape like pyres of the underworld, consuming men both alive and dead.
...Flames that pumped endlessly from her own hands.
Before her charged in three corpses. With rimefire dripping from melting faces and sizzling flesh, they ran towards her with hands outstretched like frenzied zombies. Their lips had already burnt away, exposing jawbones that wailed more terribly than any banshee.
"S-stay away!" she heard her own voice.
With merciless steel in her hands, she unleashed a torrent of liquid fire. But even through the smoke, she could tell that it did nothing to stop the zombies' advance.
...Until a bloody swordstaff cut through all three, disintegrating them into the air.
"KEEP...FIRING!" her savior cried out, even as a giant zombie rose up from the ground to smash a massive blade into her staff.
Flames reached out almost reflexively, scorching everything in its path -- both friend and foe alike. With a painful yell, her guardian lost an arm to the crashing blade. But instead of simply falling, the burning limb flew through the air and extended its fingers.
...Straight for her face.
"AHHhhh!"
Kaede scrambled into an upright sit as her eyes opened to the darkness.
She was in Pascal's expandable cabin, although its bed currently held only herself. Her lungs panted breathlessly. Her hands still shook, and she could feel the sweaty perspiration rolling down her sensitive skin.
It's only a nightmare... only a nightmare, she repeated to herself.
"Is everything alright?" came Pascal's worried voice.
"Y-yeah. Only... only a nightmare, Kaede sent over the link.
"You just experienced your first real battle and your first... well, couple dozen kills. That reaction is natural and nothing to feel ashamed about," he reassured. "Try to go back to sleep. Healing magic might close wounds quickly, but it still takes time for muscle tissues to reorganize themselves properly."
Memories began to return as Pascal spoke. Kaede had been knocked out by a massive explosion, and woke up after the battle on Parzifal's wild tofu for the second time. After a few brief words with Pascal and others, Parzifal had used his authority as a healer to send Kaede off to rest and sleep.
Flipping the thick comforter off her, Kaede stretched her legs off the fleece bedsheets. Her left thigh still ached, but walking wouldn't be a problem.
"You were injured as well. Shouldn't you be back here asleep also?"
"I need to finish these action reports while they are still fresh on my mind, Pascal replied.
"Well... okay," Kaede answered a bit wistfully. "I'm going to take a walk. I don't think I can sleep after that."
"Remember to turn your garments' heat up."
Kaede wondered if a normal girl would ask for some company and a long, warm embrace on moments like these. But while she couldn't claim to having a ton of masculinity even before coming to Hyperion, Kaede was nevertheless raised to be emotionally strong and independent.
But what's the point though, trying to appear steady and in control, she thought as her small hands pulled on the black pseudo-uniform around her thin shoulders.
It was on moments like these when Kaede questioned that if girls really did have an easier life. Sure, a driven and capable woman had her charms, at least towards any men of actual value. But culturally speaking, masculinity was judged by men's success, while femininity appealed through a girl's weakness. A female grew more attractive to friends and spouses alike through a combination of both achievements and failures. But males? The social expectation for any fall was to walk away with apparent pride.
That went doubly so for Pascal, who was exceedingly judgmental and took every opportunity to test others' intellect and resolve.
...Although, since she was a girl now, maybe he wouldn't look down upon her for requesting some comfort. He certainly offered her free hugs when she broke down after receiving her residency.
Kaede mulled it over as she opened the door to the freezing winds outside.
No, she firmly told herself. The body is one thing, but I refuse to lose any parts of my personality... my real self.
The reply was a nagging echo from the depth of her mind:
You already have.
----- * * * -----
The large and fortified cabin being used as a mess hall had a rather thick door. Kaede felt her weakness once again as she exerted to push it open.
She received a few curious glances, but most of the inhabitants were too busy celebrating to notice.
"Hey girl! You're cute! Care to join us?" Called out one of the soldiers. Like many of those surrounding him, he was wearing the black-on-burning-red uniform of a Knight Phantom. His face was also glowing red, and he happily waved a stein of beer in the air.
That instantly drew her more attention than she ever wanted.
"We're the Ghosts who saved the day!" said a buddy next to him, with an even redder face. "You should offer (hic) us a drink!"
"Pay some respect boys," came a familiar voice. "She's a friend of mine. And without her sending a hundred Northmen to early graves, we'd never have arrived in time to save anything."
Kaede sent an irritated glare to the speaker instantly. He wasn't hard to pinpoint either, since Gerd Kessler's imposing musculature easily stood out from the crowd.
"Of course L.T," the men around him answered instantly, like pups obeying a recognized alpha wolf.
"I did not kill a hundred," Kaede tried to snarled back, as soft as her voice was.
"That's what Captain von Gottschall has been saying anyway," Gerd answered with a friendly smile, completely misreading her expression. "What's definitely true is that you are a hero, even if not everyone would admit it."
"I sure don't feel like one... nor do I want to," she grumbled back, images from the recent nightmare still drifting across her mind. "Mind if I have a seat?"
The long wooden table Gerd sat at had only two females to twenty-odd men, which included Reynald right next to him. There was also a smaller table with five women on the other side of the room, but Kaede didn't know anyone there.
"Sure thing," Gerd said cheerily and he and Reynald shifted to make room.
"Hey L.T.! I thought you only had eyes for one girl! Don't tell me you're bedding other wench already!"
The comment was good-natured enough, but Kaede still colored a little.
She had forgotten how crude soldiers could be.
"She's my friend! Next person I hear being disrespectful of the lady gets to duel me," Gerd declared to the whole table.
His wasn't actually as stern as his choice of words though. He even chuckled at the end.
"Well damn. No thanks L.T. After seeing you send three men flying with one swipe, I ain't meeting that swordstaff of yours," spoke another nearby trooper with a rather toothy smile. "Although I hope you won't mind me telling the little miss that she's cute as a button. Samaran I'm guessing?"
"Yeah... you've met one before?" Kaede replied, just before giving Reynald a jab in the ribs. She wasn't sure a finger or two had enough strength, so she used all four.
"OW!" the short redhead yelped, immediately pulling back the hand that was almost on her butt.
Having a familiar's keen senses wasn't always bad, even if it was a bit excessive when added atop a Samaran's perfect vision and hearing.
"Yeah. A whale merchant," the soldier answered. "Stoic fellow, didn't say a word more than necessary. Interesting wares though. He showed us a swordstaff shaft that could be animated to spin the blade during a charge."
"Not as amazing as it sounds in use," Gerd added. "Looks frightening enough. Problem is the blade doesn't always strike armor in the right angle, whereas normally you could control it."
...A discussion of how to best kill enemies was about the last thing Kaede wanted to have right now.
"Where's Ariadne and Parzifal?" she changed the topic.
"Something about beauty sleep and... well, Parzifal is just tired," Reynald responded, still rubbing his ribs. "It's not easy to wear him out, but they wrung him dry today. One of the conditions for the town's surrender that the Princess negotiated was immediate medical assistance."
"Fatigue aside, I'd be asleep too if I had Putty, all soft and smooth and white and cute..."
Gerd's expression gained an oddly dreamy look as he spoke, and Reynald snorted into his beer mug mid-drink.
Kaede had to wipe a bit of spray off her cheek.
"You sure you're thinking white pudding still and not imagining Cecylia's thighs?" Reynald voiced rather loudly, facing his friend with a gleeful grin and a faint beer mustache.
His comment brought quite a few friendly laughs around the table.
Gerd, however, shot him a glare atop a scowl.
"I don't undress women with my eyes, you shameless scoundrel..." Then, with a bright scarlet blush completely unsuited to his macho appearance: "Although I wouldn't say no to a lap pillow, assuming we went far enough for it to be appropriate."
Reynald kept up his grin even as he shook his head:
"Give it up, bro. Pretty clear that she isn't interested."
"Then why does she shoot glances my way?"
Because even through the uniform you look buff as heck, Kaede thought.
She was tempted to tell him, although it really wasn't her place to say, not when Cecylia had voiced them in the confidence of her friends.
"You'd have better luck asking the new girl," Reynald sent back a knowing look. "And don't lie, I saw the way you looked at her."
"Well, I admit: Lydia is cute; definitely my type," Gerd responded. "But I will not try to court two women at once. It's cheap -- cheapens my efforts and cheapens them, just disgraceful altogether."
"L.T's the romantic type isn't he?" one of his troopers called out while another whistled.
"Possessive is more like it," Reynald interjected. "Just ask Cecylia once more and be done with it. Life isn't long enough to keep waiting, magic or not."
Kaede wasn't sure if it was the alcohol or rising anger, but Gerd's glaring face was bright red. So just as he was about to retort, she decided to head him off:
"So, why do you like Cecylia that much?"
It drew his eyes back down to his beer stein in an instant, focused.
"Well... she's pretty, cute, energetic. She's daring and determined, yet still the type I'd need to protect. She's smart and can talk for hours about life in the world, unlike those sheltered girls who squeal over the same things. Plus she's a dhampir, and they're as devoted as a wife could be."
"So the L.T. just wants to go home for a smile, a kiss, and the smell of freshly made dinner!" a sergeant from across the table announced.
Which unfortunately is exactly what Cecylia won't do, Kaede thought.
"Yeah yeah I know it's cliché," Gerd retorted with a flustered look. "I'm allowed to have dreams too you know."
"Oh come on L.T., not like the rest of us are any different."
"Other than that none of us are gonna brave the daughter of General von Falkenhausen. We'll cheer you on just for that!"
"To the L.T.!" his men called out, before two groups of them clamored their steins together, splashing yellowish-orange beer all around.
The comfort Gerd's men already shared with their commanding officer rather surprised Kaede. After all, he only took command six days ago.
"It is okay for them to drink this much?" she asked Reynald.
"Fight hard, play hard, that's what Captain von Hammerstein told us anyway," the redhead grinned back. "Besides, command gave everyone except the companies on watch tomorrow off for rest. So don't ruin the topic!"
Kaede smiled a little herself. It was indeed nice to have a pleasant conversation free of battles:
"Face it though, he's smitten."
"I'll work on that," Reynald gave a very lopsided smirk.
"Don't you dare interfere," Gerd growled from Kaede's other side.
"Don't worry bro, it's in your best interests," Reynald reassured him. "By the time you realize what's happening, you won't even complain."
Gerd was still scowling, but his men soon pulled him back into yet another rowdy cheer:
"Come on L.T., here's another!"
"Although I'll say: you're oddly comfortable with discussing this," Reynald said to Kaede.
"Shouldn't I be?" Kaede shrugged. "It's not like Gerd is ranking the girls, or judging them based solely on physical attractiveness. Now that would be insulting."
Besides, it's not like Cecylia hasn't rated him in a similar manner.
"I don't know," he replied with a half-hearted shrug of his own. "Most ladies I know would already be offended at how commoners only see women as housewives as this point."
Kaede raised her eyebrows. It was absurdly weird to think of the nobles as the more socially progressive side of the populace in this world.
"Okay, please do explain. Why does the commoners have that cultural view while nobles don't?"
"Because even apart from the fact that an angry noblewoman could blow her husband sky high with just a few spellwords, mages live long enough to juggle both a career and family," a rough voice answered from behind her. "The commoners' short lives restricts them quite a bit. I can tell you that many of the friends I grew up with are already married and with kids. So of course the wives, being better caretakers but less suited for physical endurance and strength, are expected to housekeep and raise them."
Kaede and Reynald both turned about on the wooden bench. They found themselves facing a tall, broad-shouldered young man in 'late twenties' with a full mustache and gray eyes.
"Sorry, I couldn't help overhearing," he said before offering an open hand. "Sergeant Eckhart Steinmetz, Nordkreuz 3rd Cavalry, 1st Platoon, 2nd Squad leader. It's a pleasure to meet the hero of our company."
Kaede grasped it as firmly as she could, feeling as though she was shaking hands with a giant.
"Kaede Suvorsky. I'm... not really military, just Captain von Moltewitz's familiar," she spoke back carefully. "And it's Captain von Lichnowsky who is the real hero, not me. Without her, I'd be dead."
"Well, that's what soldiers are: we watch out for one another, and you became part of the family the moment you helped us stop that ghastly charge," Eckhart proudly declared as he offered Kaede an extra large stein of beer.
She couldn't well refuse, even if her only experience with alcohol was her father offering a sip of vodka at age six.
...She still remembered that unpleasant burning on her tongue.
But among true soldiers, her gender hardly mattered. He clearly expected her to drink it like a man.
Several deep gulps proved that this beer didn't burn, although it was very strong and bitter. Kaede coughed a few times afterwards, and Eckhart gave her two pats that felt more like rubber mallet blows.
"I always heard that Nordkreuz had some of the best troopers," Reynald said admiringly. "They say that not a single man ran from the 3rd company, not to mention how bravely the 1st fought. You guys are good, and your attitude proves it all the more."
"Colonel von Hammerstein is hell of a trainer, and the Captain is a good woman herself," Eckhart nodded as he shook Reynald's offered hand. "I just hope they don't disband us. Even including the Captain and those who will be retiring, only nineteen of us survived this battle."
Retire, Kaede thought as she gulped down more liquor. What a nice way to say that she's too crippled to fight anymore.
She didn't know what being drunk felt like. But right now, she really wanted the stupor that supposedly came along with it.
...
In the end, Reynald and Eckhart ended up trading stories.
Kaede was rather surprised to learn that unlike the stern Captain she knew only from the battlefield, Karen von Lichnowsky was quite a humored commander. She apparently had excellent timing for comebacks toward acts of comedic stupidity, occasionally using her long hair much like a Japanese paper fan.
The last good moment of the night came when Gerd, curious over tales of Kaede shooting down a siphoneer, asked to see her morphic blade:
"Weeell 'amn, tha thing's even 'etter than mine 'ordsaff!"
"Wha' di'ye expect? 'Er master's a rich bastard," Reynald slurred back.
Then with one thud after another, both of them passed out.
Reynald's tolerance was average, he just drank rather slowly. But Gerd? Judging by the mountain of mugs, his men must have fed him a whole keg.
Then, with no one remaining to distract her, the images and screams soon returned to haunt...
----- * * * -----