Daybreak:Alpha Chapter

Special 1 - Changing Perspectives

(takes place towards the end of volume 1)

Kaede shut the massive tome and and lifted it with both hands. Carefully straining to maintain balance in her upper body, she reached over to deposit it on the bedside counter.

It always felt odd that something so simple in her previous body -- an act she could accomplish one-handedly without thought -- now required care and concentration.

Since arriving at Hyperion, Kaede did consider putting herself on a physical training regime beyond just her archery exercise. It was a hassle to find oneself so weak that even daily tasks proved difficult at times.

However...

'Athletic' didn't quite define her. Other than archery, Kaede had only found sports and martial arts fun when friends dragged him in, when he felt like part of a team.

...Even if it was just beating each other up with bamboo sticks and laughing about it afterwards.

But in the Königsfeld Academy, not only did Kaede lack workout buddies, she also attracted odd stares and whispers wherever she went.

For the first time in her life, she felt genuine sympathy and understanding for hikikomoris -- NEETs suffering from acute social withdraw.

So while Kaede holed up in Pascal's room pouring over encyclopedias of the new world, she made herself one excuse after another for why she wasn't jogging circles outside.

--The weather was too windy.

--The morning was already late and cadets had began their outdoor classes.

--Her body felt sluggish from sleeping too few hours last night.

But most of all, Kaede questioned if it even helped for her to exercise.

Without the testosterone levels of male bodies, bodybuilding was not just slow but also limited in effect. Given her low initial strength, spending hours per week in addition to her meditative archery for a five or ten percent boost just didn't seem a worthwhile investment of time.

It wasn't like she needed the endurance training either. Physical fatigue was a product of excessive muscle strain. Being Samaran meant that her tissues recovered faster than she could tire them out.

...Or perhaps that was yet another excuse.

After forgetting to pull her comforter back up, Kaede shivered as she felt yet another breeze blow in from the window.

She had left it open after Pascal's departure to help ventilate the room. Another 'side effect' of being a girl was that she found male odors... a little too obvious.

Pulling off the bedcovers to stand beside the bed, Kaede stepped forth in her thin legs. Her exposed arms and thighs could feel the chill as she walked over to the window. The self-heating magical undergarments might keep her body temperature warm, but that didn't stop the tingling on her skin from the late autumn air.

Kaede reached out with her small hands and pulled the window closed before seizing up in one last tremble. Her delicate arms wrapped themselves around her chest again as she made her way back to the enticing warmth of her... well, Pascal's bed.

There was once a time when Kaede wondered if small and cute girls ever felt as fragile as they looked.

In her current experience, the answer was a resounding yes.

Her wrists didn't just look thin. They even felt like they might break if she tried to apply too much force.

Her bare shoulders always felt chilly and desired the embrace of warmth. Her small feet wanted precise, dainty steps to uphold the same steady balance. Even her slim fingers would examine items with a delicate touch before attempting to pick them up.

Every simple act left a different sensation from the 'apply strength to everything' approach that came naturally to men.

Not every girl was petite and small. But with such feelings in mind, Kaede could certainly understand why the aspiration for protection was so prevalent among feminine desire.

The yearning for safety, for security -- mingled in among the feminine culture of romanticism and love.

Of course, to seek shelter from danger was a trait shared by all biological species. But since the macho-oriented culture that governed 'acceptable' male behavior considered it a 'weakness', men rarely yearned for such thoughts and feelings.

...Not on a conscious level, at least.

'Safety' was unmanly. A true man would strive for ambition and adventurous thrill.

To seek fame like Achilles, to journey the unknown like Odysseus. To forge dreams into reality like the great kings of old.

So for Kaede, becoming aware of such emotions was rather an experience -- one she wasn't exactly opposed to either, to her curiosity and surprise.

Not that one minor detail like this meant she was agreeing with Pascal.

Perhaps she was meant to be a girl? Yeah right. Perfectly male or female personalities were the exception rather than the rule. Most people belonged somewhere in between.

It simply took introspective self-reflection for one to realize -- which unfortunately, women did far better than men.

After all, examining oneself for weaknesses was 'unmanly'. The macho creed was to claim invincibility and shift all imperfections away, right?

The side-effect of too much testosterone was outright idiocy.

It would be far-fetched to say that Kaede was happy inhabiting a girl's body. But there was certainly aspects of male expectations that she had happily cast aside.

Lifting the comforter once more, Kaede pulled her legs back under the soothing warmth of soft fabrics.

A gentle smile spread across her lips as she felt her silky skin rubbing against smooth charmeuse once more.

Apart from the obvious physical changes, like how tall she was or how she expelled liquids, there were also a bunch of unseen nuances that came with both its good and bad.

For example, her skin.

It was soft, smooth, and delicate; translucent like perfect porcelain, flawless to behold and touch.

Even she couldn't help but admire it.

For a girl back on Earth to have such skin, Kaede would have to wonder how much daily effort was spent on lotions, moisturizers, and even baby oil.

But those same attributes also made it really sensitive.

This... was actually a problem.

Being an aristocrat, Pascal's mostly-cotton bedsheets were probably as good as the modern ones Kaede used to sleep on. He apparently found it the right balance between comfort and firmness, at any rate.

But for her, it felt coarse.

It wasn't sandpaper, but it felt like... bare skin against the carpet, or something like that. The scraping felt a hint itchy.

First World Problems, sure. It didn't even bother her unless she moved. Except she did, a lot, since trying to sleep with everything on her mind was hard.

But what could she do? Ask for him to switch to silk sheets? Just the thought of it made her cheeks burn with embarrassment.

Kaede had no doubt Pascal would offer plenty of wisecracks about that one.

So during the first week she did the easiest thing.

The long gloves and stockings of her undergarment set were charmeuse -- satin-weave -- and covered most of her arms and legs, particularly the parts that did the most rubbing. Kaede had never admired girls for their fabrics before. But these... they were unfair.

Well, lingerie were meant to be sleepwear. However embarrassing wearing pure white 'bridal lingerie' was, they were also her only undergarments.

Plus, they were blissfully comfortable.

As Kaede considered herself a pragmatic person, the choice was obvious.

She would never have imagined herself sleeping in opera gloves, thighhigh stockings, and a sleeveless, backless leotard with a semi-translucent miniskirt. But then, just the 'herself' part was already beyond belief even a month ago.

(unfinished)